Optimistic Asian.

So for the past like two weeks I've been going to this chronic food truck at lunch time for these super dank egg rolls.  I'm pretty sure the lady who runs it is crushing hard on me because she always smiles and tells me to have a good day.  Earlier today I figured I'd try my luck and ask for a discount.  She laughed and said "Oooh har har har I no geeve dish count har har har!" which totally pissed me off!  I tried counting to 10 to cool off but it just wasn't happening.  I climbed inside the truck, grabbed two kitchen knives, and Baraka'd her ugly face.  Probably the most gruesome thing I've done but WHATEVS.

Librarian.

So the other day this gnarly tornado came through RVA and tore shit up!  Losing electricity meant losing my sanity (i.e. Mortal Kombat) so I drove to the library (thank God for Wifi!) to get my fix online.  Anyone who's ever played with me knows I get in the zone when I start punishing...I'm all like, "BLAM! FUCK YEAH! SPECIAL MOVE!" and it can get pretty loud.  Well, I was on fire, stomping the yard on everyone I fought when some dusty old lady walked up to me like, "Shhhh!" which totally broke my concentration.  I grabbed a book off the shelf, imagined it was Kung Lao's razor-edged sombrero, and chucked it at her dome piece.  DOOOSH!  She stumbled back and screamed for help.  The next thing I threw?  The entire  Encyclopaedia Britannica.    She was looking pretty thrashed after that, and since I wore out my arm throwing all those books, I called it a sesh and went home.  

Blind man.

So I'm a pretty tough dude but the streets of RVA are even tougher!  This morning I woke up early to grab a fresh bag of bagels and nearly died en route.  I was walking solo (not the best idea) towards the bakery when I spotted this crazy dude who had this huge battle staff!  As if that wasn't gnarly enough, he also had this jacked up hell hound with him, too.  He wasn't moving too fast but he was heading right towards me.  I wasn't about to lose my life on a nice Sunday morning, so I ran, jumped, and sent him to the sidewalk with an expert flying kick.  My cinnamon raisin bagel tasted so good coming off that adrenaline rush!

Frail child in front of Sweet Frog.

So it pretty much goes without saying that I love Sweet Frog.  Froyo's my jam!  After work today I was jonesing pretty hard and had to holler at a bowl of that shit.  The line was pretty long...LAME...but there was a nice breeze and clear sky so I sat outside and started crushing.  It might have been the crucial froyo headache I got, but I could've sworn this little kid at the table beside me was giving me the evil eye.  He got up to hug his grandma but before their warm embrace I went Liu Kang on his ass and put him on the ground with a scissor take-down.  Brutality! 

Old lady working in her garden.

So earlier today I had to trek through this insane humidity to Walgreen's for corn chips and ginger ale.  WEAK.  It was really nasty outside but I can't play video games without my snacks!  Anyways, as I was walking back home I saw this nice old lady pruning flowers in her front yard.  She smiled and waved which for some reason triggered an image of Motaro beckoning me to fight him.  I hopped over her fence like, "What's up, bitch!?" and rocked her with a textbook uppercut.  She collapsed on the ground and there was crucial blood everywhere.  Flawless victory!